The next day, after our restless night at David’s house, we went to Boston, to see our favorite team play Baseball – the BOSTON RED SOX. We had a good time at the game, ate some Fenway Franks, and cheered on a winning game. Yay! That part wasn’t awkward at all.

After Boston, we made our way to Cape Cod, one of my favorite places on earth. Robert and I decided to continue the Vacation of Awkward Experiences by trying something we’ve never done before – stay in a Bed and Breakfast. We chose one on the internet that fit our vacation dates and location on the Cape. It was pretty awkward, especially because it was a clothing-optional inn.

No, not really. Sam and his wife Penny were new B&B owners – have only been in the business for 2 years, originally from New Jersey. They also have a lovely gift basket business if you’d like to buy a gift basket, they are for sale in the dining room.

Sam showed us around the property and to our historic bedroom, in the eaves of the second floor. The bathroom was across the hall from our bedroom, and that was way uncomfortable, but they provided robes to wear when we were out wandering the halls after our showers. Sam mentioned that we may want to make friends with the other guests like the folks from last weekend, who all went out to dinner together for every meal. Not a chance.

The most awkward part of the whole experience was that Sam wanted to control us. That’s why he got into this business. First of all, they don’t live in the “big house”, they live in a coach house in the back of the property. In order to keep tabs on the main house, there are baby monitors all around the common areas, so Sam can hear what’s going on, and come over and talk to you when you are outside of your room.

Every time we came back to the B&B, he popped up and wanted to talk to us. Common questions were: Where were you, where are you going, what are you doing next, how’s your room, when are you coming back, why do you keep sneaking around? We were accused of “sneaking around” every day we were there. We don’t even know what that means!

Talk about sneaking around – Sam even pops out of the bushes late at night. One night when we came back from walking on the beach, around 11 PM – he appeared next to our car to talk to us in the dark. Very awkward.

One Saturday morning, we decided to get up early and rent bikes, so we let Sam know we wouldn’t be joining them for breakfast part of the Bed & Breakfast.

We thought the most awkward way to ride bikes would be to do it together, so we rented a tandem bike and made our way down the Cape Cod Rail Trail – a bike trail made from an old railroad that’s been paved over. Very fun and very awkward, I laughed the entire time. We rode about 8 miles and then returned to the B&B for showers.

Sam and Penny were still in the kitchen, cleaning up breakfast. He motioned for us to come in – they had saved breakfast for us! When we said we’d already had breakfast (along the bike trail) he said “You’re cheating on Penny!”. Oh brother. Good thing we skipped that one too – it was a breakfast Robert would have hated with lots of sauces and souffles.

We like our vacations to teach us important life lessons. The lessons we learned on this one was – don’t stay at a bed and breakfast with stalkers, and always rent a tandem bike when you can.